What if we were the answer and love was the question?

What if all we have ever wanted

Isn’t hiding in some secret and far away dream

but inside of us now

as we breathe one another

and find home in the way our arms always seem to fit

or the way our lips interlock

perfectly around the spaces between us?

What if we were the answer and love was the question?

What if all this time

It was us you were supposed to find?

I am filled with wonderings

questions and doubt

but of one thing I am certain

It will always be you

that gives flight to the butterflies inside me,

calm to the sea I have become

and hope to the darkness all around us.

It is you and it has always been you…


You that soothes and excites and spreads joy like rainfall

on the already damp earth;

You that pulled me from the longest sleep and kissed my tired eyelids awake.

If life is a question mark,

then you my love,

are the proud and bold period that is typed with certainty.



The mutant prince


“Majority of women in Malaysia and around Asia are either divorced or not married due to the fact that men from this continent are not really men. They are either cheaters or irresponsible pricks who don’t have respect for their women. A lot of them are relying on the women, so it is of no surprise that you are divorced and still single.”

A strong statement to be making, the kind of brutal truth that most of the time are left unsaid in this society. But he said it. It was like watching my own thoughts being put together in a different way, a new angle; a fresh take on an all-too-familiar perspective.

When I start talking to someone new, I wait for a line contrary to the rest. With this one, it was his perspective on the quality of the local men that got me intrigued. He has a good sense of observation and is not afraid to share it. An aspiring entrepreneur, who wants to be his own boss. At 24, he is way ahead of me.

I have a week to form a team to deliver an international awards event. This event is my coming-out party, in establishing myself and my brand. I think I came a little when I twisted the dagger that contained the sands of time. I could not shut it down, my mind continued to spark as I burnt the midnight oil with the visionary hat on. Flashes of the future contained specific people. The publicity will be major, great exposure for everyone!

Note to self: I need to update my wardrobe.

We will be throwing an awards party for 250 international media representatives and hosting them for a week in December. His timing is utter perfection because I definitely could use a team of muses to pull this one off.

When you aspire towards something, the universe will conspire to move you towards it; bring certain people into your life and weed some out.

I wonder why have I been given a string of Egyptians lately. And a whole lot of Indians and Africans. Never had an African but my pet brother, Joe, he is like the brother I never had. One of the nicest guys I know, a linguist. He speaks multiple languages like most Europeans do. His life revolves around three beautiful women, his wife and two daughters. Joe, my worldly Nigerian brother, is benchmark #3.

Creative note:  Arrange for an island photo shoot with my African talents after the July press conference.

As for the Indians, I simply do not agree with the diet. Consistently high carb intake with no greens and fruits, spells disaster for the physique in the long run.

Check: Will only do an Indian if he has a British accent and a hard bod. 😉

No dreams for me tonight. The haze and the heat was an excellent recipe for a migraine. I wish I am sailing on the Nile but I guess that can wait til the weekend. I am opening my door to an *Egyptian-Italian, Arizona-bred mutant prince so that he can demonstrate the meaning of respecting my fellow Eve.

*A mutant analogy is way sexier than the rojak analogy, don’t you agree?

Selamat malam, Kuala Lumpur [Good night, Kuala Lumpur].

The prime alpha


The 30 somethings are in their prime stage in the relationship revolution chart. They are at their sexual peak, have mastered control and have watched enough porn to be more learned in the art of pleasuring women. Sexually liberated men turn me on.

Enter a European prince, bloodline still unknown but grew up everywhere. Born in India, lived in Norway and Belgium and residing in Spain now. He is sculptured like a Greek god.

I did what any women would do. Worship God. In all forms.

The voyeur

Voyeur series AZ001

We are drawn towards beautiful things and those who create them.

Music, arts, pictures. Since I am one with words, ultimately, I would presume that the perfect man for me could be one with all the right visuals. The voyeur that compliments my exhibitionist nature. The artist with the eye.

The Great Men Auction 2011. 7atenine and the angels at Soroptimist International raised more than RM100K that night.  The concept was fun and flirty, the food and drinks were spectacular; something the audience could expect from Michelle Kuok, her Chief of Staff, Helen Kam and the team of dynamite at 7atenine. We are waiting for the reveal of a new outlet by the group, at the former 7atenine location. It will be exciting!

Zung - People series [Shanghai Lord]

People series, The Shanghai Lord

The night of the auction, I met someone with a huge potential to be greater than he already is. I was in awe of his works of art, his angles and patience in waiting for the right shot. Like many before me, we were awestruck by the immensity of his talent. Once you see his visual art pieces up close, you are never the same. It helps his artistic cause the fact that he gets to shoot renowned figures. His journey I will be telling.

We always judge people by their exterior. This one could use a bit of exterior work but inside he is a warrior that has come a long way. At 35, he is a self-made man. There was nothing sexier than a man who paved his own. My Japanese warrior, descendant of the ninjas from the land of the rising sun, who wears nothing but black; rises to the occasion sometimes.

I believe his significance will unfold as I play groupie, the one who falls in love with the talent first and foremost, with the man; second.

“Take the road less traveled”, said Robert Frost. It always seems like the obvious choice for me.  I am happy to be able to write the stories of the exceptional individuals that have also decided the road less traveled is the more fun way to go.

The Eurasian prince


There was something noble about the extent a man would go for a woman. On her invite to spend his one-week break in the city, the Eurasian prince traveled more than 500km to spend some time with the Malay queen. He did not let setbacks like delays in the allowance disbursement and the fact that it is his first time in the city of Kuala Lumpur deterred him from getting on that bus and making that journey. She found value in a man who values himself based on what he would become. The thought of playing a role in a man’s journey of becoming excites her. But the truth of the matter was, the queen have been having a hard week on the work-front and could definitely use some play. Hence, she opened the door to her lair and played host.

He fitted in so well into her realm, his presence she found comforting. He made  perfect eggs, made them every morning with buttered toast and fresh fruits. They basked in their similarities and laughed at their differences. He served her an average of five times a day. The only thing that she was not very happy about was the fact that he did not believe in going down.

“A man should make sure he is able to satisfy his woman. It is not necessary to go down, if the man knows how to use his dick,” he said with conviction in his Uzbek accent which she found amusing.

As long as she could still hang on to those that do take pleasure in taking the road less traveled, she would keep him. She did love the simplicity of his theories and principles, his straightforwardness in communicating them to her and most of all she loved his monkey. It was the perfect length and width, capable of surprising her with a new twist now and then.  He was her willing prisoner of love, a love slave ready to serve at the drop of a hat. There was nothing wrong with that scenario, not in her mind. There was no label to this, not any conventional label anyway. He pledged only of the thing he knew he could be and could deliver. As her man. Unofficially. She believed there was more that meets the eye about the 15 years age gap between them. They have two years to learn and to discover each other, how they fit into each other’s plans; if they do.

The queen is treading on love territory, highly optimistic, looking forward to a series of exciting adventures in the horizon. Adventures that will involve a tall, dark and handsome Eurasian prince who shares her vices and her love for hot sex and intimacy.

The annual get wet festival

There are places that we want to go to at least once in our lifetime and there are places that we just keep going back to. I have deep love for Kuala Lumpur, my home for the past 15 years. But over the years, I keep finding myself back in Thailand. Phuket more than anywhere else.  This year’s Songkran, I decided to get wet with my Thai connection, Noy. The last time I was on the island uninhibited was three years ago. Time really flies.

Ready for the annual get wet rendezvous. Phuket for 2013.

Ready for the annual get wet rendezvous. Phuket for 2013.

I went to the airport straight from work. Bumped into the boys at KLIA, they were going to Phuket for a soccer tournament. Bike week was held on Patong beach the weekend I was on the island too. Noy picked me up and all I could think about were those crabs cooked with spring onions and ginger we had one time for lunch in Patong.

We went for dinner at Two Sisters restaurant, in Nai Harn beach. Noy introduced me to one of the sisters, Oy; who had prepared the crab dish for me. I was telling Noy about my crab craving on the way to the hotel from the airport. On the spot,she puts through a call to Oy to see if they could accommodate. That was the perfect example of Thai hospitality that I have came to expect from my bestie, Noy. She’s hot for a 53-year old, does not look her age at all. She’s seeing a 27 year old Japanese hunk from Osaka, who was making a living investing in rental properties.

Two bowls of panang curried crabs, a mojito and a nap later, I was ready to party. We ended up going to Laguna Club and decided to stay on the quieter side of the island for the night. Songkran madness spreads throughout the entire Thailand, it did not really matter where we were, we would have had a blast.

Camera 360

Oy joined us along with Christina and Brook, a Korean and Thai couple running a spa in Phuket town, also friends of Noy. At the end of the night, everyone were wet and hammered. Noy and I were walking back to her car and a call from Oy came in. She invited us over to her house for a late night dip. Since we were still dripping and tripping at 3am, we thought a skinny-dip was a fab idea. Suddenly, Noy could not remember where Oy’s place was. As the foreign counterpart, and the fact I haven’t been to Oy’s place before, I was of no help. We decided to call Oy for clarity. Nicky, Oy’s boyfriend answered the call and gave Noy the directions. They have been shacking up for the past five years.

Marked for the killing me coldly session at Laguna Club.

Marked for the killing me coldly session at Laguna Club.

The house was tucked in a cul-de-sac. It was dark and the roads were barely lit. Nicky greeted us with their black labrador on his side, a Singha beer in one hand. Oy was apparently already in bed. It started to feel suspicious, a bit dodgy. There was definitely something more complex to the simple plot of skinny-dipping with my girlfriends at 3am in the morning.

“If Oy is asleep then why would you have us come over?” I asked Nicky.

“Because Mike insisted that he wants you,” said Nicky with a sly grin.

I heard a chuckle coming from the pool area.

You gotta be kidding! I wanted to leave but we just got there and Noy needed to chill for a bit to regain her composure (and memory).

“One drink and we are outta here,” telepathically I signaled my sister from another mother.

Apparently he saw me at the restaurant. A gentleman would have introduced himself then. Perhaps bought us drinks. I do not know why he thought it was acceptable behavior to trick a woman into meeting him. The trickster thought he could convince me to jump in the pool, to get down with him and then he thought I would ditch my bestie to spend the night fucking him til noon. I did not want to waste my high on decoding his rationale or his prickly nature. Just because you are in a place where money is king and love can be bought, does not mean that you can be a jack ass and treat all women like whores. It was such a turn-off. Turned out the jack ass named Mike, was an American working for a mining-based exploration company. With one swift move, he gave the Indiana Jones of America a bad rep for his lack of class and pasty ass. Skinny dipping with the girls would have been such a good plot.

Yin Yang constellation in Phuket

Yin Yang constellation in Phuket.

Fish out of water


Took me a while to come up with a good angle. I must admit, the fish gets distracted easily and we swim where we please. Excuses no more, little fish. It’s time to write the journey down, what you see as you see them.

It is going to get dirty and politically incorrect at times but I am not writing to pick sides or to please everyone. As always, I am and will always be the one that never voted.